Job searching has got to be one of my least favorite things to do. I took a pre-interview aptitude test the other day, which they said would require about two weeks of processing before they would begin scheduling interviews *crossing fingers* I feel like I have to keep telling myself that I do like my current job and that I do like my coworkers just to keep myself going. Today, telling myself didn't work though. Having to close every Friday and Saturday night is just getting old. I'm 25 years-old and can't even go out on a weekend. As soon as I got to work today, my manager started "coaching" me about things that just don't matter. I requested a weekend off an entire month in advance, only for my manager to react as if I am causing her job to be so much more stressful. Then, I asked a coworker to trade 1 shift with me, so I could go out of town, and she simply said, "I like having Saturdays off, so, no". Honestly, next time she asks me to cover a shift of hers I'm just going to give her the exact same response "I don't really want to, so, no". It didn't help anything that I was going off of 3 hours of sleep, as a result of staying up nearly all night with Ryan.
One week after everything fell apart with the job I thought I was taking, Ryan and I spent the entire day together. We began by going hiking first thing in the morning, then went out for lunch/tea and just hung out reading for a few hours, which was followed by watching a couple movies and just hanging out until 2am. At some point in the night, he asked if he could take me out on a date. I am finding that the more I spend time with him is only increasing my desire to spend even more time with him. Fortunately, he lives in my complex, about 100 yards away, so we see each other almost everyday. As of now, we have been dating a few weeks, or at least that is what we tell people. It took my roommate a couple weeks before he finally just straight up asked if we were dating. I'm sure he wondered where I had been so many nights that I didn't come home until early morning hours, if at all.
It is so much fun whenever friends of ours find out that we're dating. Everyone is so excited, or exclaims that Ryan and I are without a doubt their favorite couple. ...couple, I haven't used that term in reference to myself in so long. I like it, but its all so strange still. I have never had someone be so into me. Some nights we'll be laying there and he'll just stare at me for what feels like hours. He seems as if he has no reservations with me. Last night, he just kept asking me questions about anything and everything.
The night after our first "official date" he asked me if we could define "us" to be dating. He also exclaimed that he doesn't date casually, nor does he ever date more than one girl. The other night, after he took me on a night-hike date, he actually referred to himself as my boyfriend. I don't feel like this is moving too fast or anything, but for some reason I'm still not quite fully in. I think its just the fear of getting hurt again. He seems to like me so much, but I'm just not used to this. It feels hard for me to really believe he likes me, just because no guy has ever been like this with me before. I'm not used to someone wanting to know what I do all day and wanting to introduce me to old friends of his and take me out on dates and go on walks, or just hang out at home watching movies or talking all night long. I feel like he is going to know that I'm not all in and that it is going to cause problems between us. I'm so used to being single, and honestly, being completely selfish, its like I don't know how to do this.
The fact that he isn't someone I was all "crushing on" immediately after meeting is very different too. I definitely thought he was attractive and had a slight crush on him initially, but I didn't really know him, and never noticed any extra attention or anything from him until a couple months ago. However, through all that I was quite distracted by Calvin as well. Maybe it is better that I wasn't ridiculously caught up in him right away. It wasn't until I really started getting to know him.
I guess only time will tell all things.
oh, and just for you, Nick - Ryan's first/middle names are the same as your middle/last names.
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