A week full of... well... a week full.

Lets see, when I left off last week, I was on my way to meet a friend who wanted to take me out for my birthday (one month after my actual birthday) She actually got a few friends together and all surprised me. It was great! The owner of the restaurant made a sign with my name on it. However, he misspelled it, leaving out the "n" even though someone had spelled my name out for him. It was pretty entertaining. Somehow between the 6 of us, we had 20 margaritas... apparently we all lost track.

The following night, I hung out with a college friend who took a spontaneous road trip out here with another friend to go play in the mountains. It was great to catch up and to meet some new friends. The night also somehow contained a LONG conversation about religion, faith, and belief. It was quite interesting that these two guys, both of which are gay, hold more tightly to Christian beliefs than I do. All of that is in a very peculiar place for me right now though. Questioning, contemplating, rationalizing, etc, etc. Anymore, I feel like it is quite easy for me to reason myself into believing that it is all just a psychological game people play for hope and comfort. I can't deny that the faith I once had definitely got me through some of the roughest times in my life thus far. Believing that there is "something" outside of all this around us who has some control and can change things is a quite comforting thought. Looking at my life, things that I once attributed to be by God's doing, may really all just be an insane amount of coincidences. I really keep going in circles with it all. It also seems that the idea that all existence came together by chance is just ridiculous, especially when considering the intricate details of how nature works together and how one thing feeds off another, working in such a perfect way. Not to mention, I have read studies claiming that the deeper in science someone is, the more apt they are to believe in some sort of god or spiritual realm. I won't get too far into the controversy going through my mind... I will at least say that this is something that I am careful about who I will talk with about it. I know what having faith has done in my life, whether it is real or true or not, and I know what it is doing for many other people. If it is giving someone hope and strength to get through things, why would I want to take that from them or shake them in that belief. While religious beliefs have certainly caused much hurt for a lot of people, it also has caused a whole lot of good.

and moving on...

I took my bike in to have my regular customer/bike shop guy take a look at it. Turns out my bike is something more special than the high regard I hold for it. He not only made quite a deal about how awesome it is, but made his coworkers come look at it. All I really needed was to replace the saddle. I'll eventually need to re-tape the handlebars, but he says I don't really need to do that until I'm wearing through to the steel. After going through quite a few saddles and looking at prices, he eventually picked one up, which he said was pretty nice saddle, looked at the price and asked how I felt about $20-$25 as he pulled the actual price tag off of it. He eventually told me it should have been bout $70. In addition to saving me $50 there, he said he wasn't charging me tax, or for labor... I think I got a little more than the "local discount".

Oh, and what is it with people making a deal about my name? While ringing me up for everything for my bike, he complimented my signature, then told me I have a news reporter's name. I decided not to point out that he probably only made that connection because of a popular comedy in which the news reporter shares my first name.

Somehow I agreed to go on a date with a guy I met online. Supposedly everyone is doing it... I don't think I'm into the whole online dating thing though. So, Friday night, I we went out for drinks. It was an alright night. Made for decent conversation. I have to say any doubt of my lack on interest in the guy was shattered when he said "I'm not really much of a go-getter". I'm sorry, but you're talking to a girl who moved to Colorado because she loves to adventure and getting out in the mountains and is up for anything, and you say that you aren't much of a go-getter, and that you do like to hike, but its rare that you get out. At least he was honest, I guess. Since then, the guy keeps texting me about music. He seems like an alright guy, I just honestly can't say that there was even too much there that has me wanting to hang out with him, even on a level of a simple friendship. He also asked if he could take me out again this week. Fortunately, I was easily able to tell him no, due to the fact that I am leaving town in a few days and am rather busy.

Sometimes I wish I could somehow change the mindset of my roommate. He just tries so hard to be... I don't even know what he is trying to be. The other night he said that if he had to choose one word to describe me he would immediately say "stylish". He has mentioned to me many times that he thinks I am always "trending and hip" without even trying. He also seems to be often trying to match this. How do you tell someone that the issue is that he is trying? He posted a picture on facebook the other day in which he is taking a photo in the bathroom mirror of himself wearing a hand knitted scarf, hat, and glasses, holding a beer from a local microbrewery out in front of him, with the most awkward wink ever. Oh, also making sure to make it quite obvious that he is taking this photo with his smart phone. Knowing his personality/character, I know quite well just how hard he is trying in this photo to look "trendy" in his mind at least... I really want to just tell him to delete the photo and never to do that again, as it is doing more harm than help for him.

For some reason, during the past couple weeks, I have been late to work numerous times. While talking to my manager about this yesterday, I mentioned that I have been having trouble sleeping lately. She then told me that she has a number I can call... basically suggesting counseling. Oh, she also said that if I wanted something to take to help me, they would probably hook me up.

Peculiar happening for the day - after getting settled at the coffee shop, suddenly I feel someone touch my back, and realize that the guy sitting at the table next to me is actually trying to adjust my jacket which is hanging over the back of my chair... I guess it was falling? not really sure. Definitely startled me though.

Oh yes, and my coffee shop crush - more and more small talk. and nothing more than that.

Today... I made a coworker cry

Amazingly, this is not the first time I have made one of my coworkers cry while working for this company.
One of my coworkers has been ranting for about a week and a half about how she is convinced that the government is poisoning us through our food. I let this go for a while, but today, I just got sick of it. The breaking point was when I eventually told her that she has the option to grow her own produce if she doesn't trust anything being sold in stores, which she did not see as an option. In response to this I told her that if she would not consider that a feasible option, then I didn't want to hear her ranting anymore because she was throwing out any possible solution... apparently that upset her quite a bit.
The past couple weeks have been a mix of uneventful days and unexpected happenings... I guess.
After a week, I decided to send my coffee shop crush a facebook friend request (let me reiterate how much of a silly schoolgirl I am behaving like. seriously.) I am still frustrated because this guy totally intimidates me. Do you realize how RARE it is that anyone truly intimidates me? I don't even know why I feel that way. At least I am actually being conversational with him... Goodness... I feel so pathetic over all this.
Other happenings for the past week -- Sunday, a friend told me that she keeps thinking about me because she wants to set me up with a friend of hers. I have met the guy, have had a few conversations with him. He seems like a great guy, but I honestly don't foresee him to be someone I would date. I told her I would definitely get to know him though. Honestly, I am probably not someone he would want to date once he gets to know me.
Super Bowl Sunday, I was invited to a Super Bowl party, of course, but also an old friend that I have known since we were 14 asked to hang out. Knowing I was going to be splitting my time between a party and a casual hang out helped me to be cautious about what I was drinking, but I have to admit, it is a hard thing to do when others are making your drinks.
The boy who a friend said she wants to set me up with was coincidentally at the super bowl party. I made a point to talk to him, but I will admit, I was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. I still feel that he is not someone I would date though.
After having a couple drinks, then eating some food/waiting some bit of time to make sure I was in fact sober, I headed out to meet up with my old friend. I hadn't talked with the boy in at least 3 or 4 years, knowing that the potential for it to be awkward was pretty high. We went to a little hippie cafe, which had the ambiance of a Parisian bar that would have been in the film, Moulin Rouge. On one side of the place, there was an open mic poetry reading going on, which was separated from the rest of the place by big curtains. The side we were on was absolutely covered by strands of white and red Christmas lights. The walls were red... at least they appeared that way. There were random bits of art all over the walls, some of which looked like the sort of paintings you could find in a thrift store. At a table near the bar, was a man dressed as a wizard who was offering $10 palm readings, or some sort of past/future telling of life.
It was great to catch up with an old friend. Even after so much time, it seems we are both of similar mindsets and outlooks on life. I have to admit, the entire time we were hanging out, I felt like I was still mildly buzzed from the drinks I was given at the super bowl party though.

Lately, I have been working on cleaning and fixing up my bike. It is a 1993 bright fuchsia road bike that I got a great deal on simply because nobody seems to want a bright fuchsia road bike. It was originally listed for a little of a grand, but had been reduced numerous times. I was able to get it for the fabulous price of $250. I had someone who works for the company that made the bike take a look at it and tell me a little about it. He said he would figure it would have sold for something around $800. In the shopping complex that I work in, there is conveniently a bike shop just a few doors down. One of the guys that works there comes in at least once a day. Today, I mentioned to him that I am working on my bike. He offered to take a look at it, make suggestions, and even told me he will give me a discount if I do buy anything from him. This, of course, has resulted in my coworkers making some deal about me supposedly flirting with the bike shop guy to get a discount. I swear, I was not doing that at all. Most of the time he sees me, I am barely even awake. Regardless, he seems to be a nice guy and is always incredibly happy when he comes in. And I am pretty thankful that he is wanting to help... I guess I should probably start giving him his coffee free or at lest discounted.

Tonight, I am supposed to go out for my birthday... which was 4 weeks ago... The friend who wants to take me out is the same friend who convinced me to make birthday plans, only to cancel on me.

Oh, and on one last little side note that I should mention -- This Friday night, I am supposed to get drinks with a guy that I met online... eeeeehhhh, should be interesting.

lets just call it "social networking"

I haven't posted in about 3 weeks. In that time, so much and so little has happened. It has been a stressful month for me. Lets be honest, who is really interested in hearing the nitty gritty stresses of real life? Reading about my random impulsive whims are much more entertaining.
Quite a few friends have gotten into the whole online dating thing. To be honest, I'm not sure what to make of the idea. I thought it sounded a bit desperate and pathetic until a few good friends told me they honestly look at it as a way to meet new friends, since meeting people post-college actually is somewhat difficult. Its not as a knock at anyone's social ability or anything. Everyone is busy at work, and everyone is on their computers or digitally connected in some way nearly 24/7. After some consideration and much MUCH convincing, I gave in. Yes, go ahead and laugh. I'm honestly still embarrassed to admit it.
 It has been interesting and somewhat entertaining. Within the first week that I joined one of these sites, I was contacted by a guy that I actually know... My immediate response was to want to delete the account and deny it ever happened. I didn't even know he was in Colorado. Talk about weird. Instead of deleting everything, I made small talk with him and we both claimed to be joining the site for the same reasons, "social networking". I honestly do hope to meet some more people into climbing and hiking. Right now it doesn't seem like I have all that many friends that are really into the outdoorsy stuff like I am.
Currently, there are a couple of guys I am talking to. Whether I'll meet them or not, I have yet to decide. If nothing else, it is providing for some entertaining conversation.

I have given up on birthdays. I do love to celebrate everyone's birthdays and will continue to make a big deal about birthdays for everyone. I think the only reason I like to do this is because I know how much it sucks when nobody cares about your birthday. I thought about making plans for my birthday, but every time I have any expectations for my birthday, it turns out to be a great disappointment. The week of my birthday, friends were asking what I wanted to do, and I just told them I wasn't sure. Of course, everyone insisted that we have to do something for my birthday. So, I told them we would probably just go out for drinks the following weekend and that I would let them know. Come Friday, I was with some friends, and of course, they asked what we were going to do for my birthday. I said nothing and explained how my birthday always turns into a disappointment. One friend insisted and insisted that we must go out for drinks or do something. Eventually she demanded that I let her take me out for drinks the following evening and that we party downtown. Finally I gave in and said we could... Sure enough, a couple hours before we were supposed to go out, she canceled on me. It really turned out to be a pretty awful night. In addition to being canceled on, my laptop that I had only had 2 weeks was being screwy, so I had to take it into the Geek squad, where the guy helping me insulted me for working in a coffee shop even though I have a degree.
To top it off, that night, Calvin and I had a pretty stressful conversation, which I don't want to go into the details of. After talking, he ended up drunk texting me trying to exclaim his love for me, then he just kept sending me song lyrics. I was to the point where I didn't care if I ever saw or spoke to him again. The next day though, he apologized a million times for everything, while still explaining that he does love me...
So anywhow, now I'm pretty well set in the mindset that I will never try to do anything for my birthday again.

As far as Max, the guy I tied a balloon to on new years, we have conversations now and then, but that seems to be fizzling off. His sister just had a baby, so he will be back in Denver sometime soon. I suppose we'll see what happens then, if we're still talking, if he asks to hang out.

I'll admit, I am a little ridiculous when it comes to crushes... as if I have to point that out. However, I honestly believe you can learn or gain something from every person you let into your life or spend time with, so I am always up for getting to know new people! I just happen to frequently develop crushes that are often pretty short lived. It keeps things interesting. And on that note...
There is this guy at a coffee shop that I frequent. I know, so cliche, a guy at a coffee shop. Regardless, I developed a slight crush pretty quickly. I'm usually overly bold and borderline cocky in about any situation. For some reason, every time I come into the coffee shop and he is working, I instantly turn into this absurdly quiet, shy girl. ITS SO IRRITATING!!! The first time I noticed him, as he was ringing me up, he not only made a blatantly obvious name check on my debit card, but then went ahead and addressed me by my full name. I smiled, slightly laughed, said thank you, and went on my way. As soon as I got outside I was just mad at myself for not saying anything more! This happened a few more times, and we make more and more friendly small talk now and then.
Today, I went into the coffee shop and he was working. Usually the place is rather busy, but today when I got my drink, there was nobody else at the counter. He told me I have a super hero name, and we made a few light jokes about my second life as a super hero. As usual, I didn't take advantage of the situation and just carried on into the coffee shop and found a table.
By this point, I decided he has made it rather obvious in many ways that he is at least curious about me. So, I worked up some nerve and decided to go back to get something to eat for an excuse to talk to him again. Feeling quite pathetic, I finally asked for his name as I pointed out that he has checked my name on my card 5 times or so now. He gave me his full name, which sounds quite made up. We made more small talk, said it was nice to officially meet one another, and I went on my way back to my nook with my laptop. I'm sure I sound like a pathetic schoolgirl with a crush right now... well, I pretty much am. Oh well, I feel like there was at least some advancement there, and I finally spoke up a bit more. Plus, it was cute as I was leaving and he stammered while trying to say "have a nice afternoon".
Now the obvious question on hand - do I add him on facebook or not?
I'm thinking not. With any hope, he'll send me a friend request first.

who knew a purple balloon could cause so much?

I might have made things a little rotten between Calvin and I. He left for a week in LA this morning though, so by the time he gets back, all will probably be fine.
Our manager approached me again the other day to tell me that my sweater-dress that I wore to work the other day was an inappropriate length for work. Everything was fully covered and I had leggings on as well. I was telling Calvin that I feel like our manager just thinks I'm the store slut or something. He laughed and said that our manager tends to make a deal about any girl he is hanging out with and that someone said that he, as well as one of our other coworkers, both bring the slut out in girls. At this point, I was running on 2 hours of sleep and it was the end of my shift. I was a little irritated by his comment, and ended up texting him, explaining that he was making me feel a bit cheap, as well as a couple other things. I never heard anything back from him, however I'm not really sure how he could respond to what I said. Plus, he was working and new years plans for a show right after, then left early in the morning for LA. After I thought about it, I realized it was dumb of me to say what I did, because I do know quite well that the way he is with me is not typical for him at all, and he hasn't been this way with other girls.
I had told a friend earlier in the day that I know I don't want a relationship with Calvin, but I honestly want a distraction from him right now...
For New Years, I decided to hang out with two friends from Peoria, Griffin and Holly, who moved here shortly after I did. We went downtown and met up with a coworker of Holly's at a bar that was absolutely packed. This is where the absurdity for the night begins.
People in Denver seem so much more social than they were back in Illinois. Shortly after finding a place in the crowd to "settle", if you will, a guy who was probably noticed the 4 of us. He started trying to make small talk and jokes with me, while throwing in random ridiculous compliments. It was entertaining for a short bit, until he just kept coming by and then started touching my hair... just a bit awkward. At this point we were all just laughing at the situation and having fun. Eventually he started trying to get touchy and ended up grabbing my ass, then Holly kicked him and started yelling at him. He backed off, but then kept staring at me. I decided pretty quickly that I wanted to go somewhere else because now he was just making me really uncomfortable, so we all left.
While standing on the street, waiting for Griffin to close his tab at the bar, we noticed the bar across the street, which we had heard supposedly had a hot tub inside. After discussing how disgusting that must be, we decided we should go check out the bar and see if there was in fact a hot tub... There was. Fortunately, the hot tub was closed. I can only image the number of diseases that must be lurking in that water. We quickly decided to go next door to an Irish pub, which was much more my scene than any of the previous bars. On our way over, I snagged a giant helium balloon from the hot tub bar.
We made our way into the pub, which was pretty full, but not too packed. By this point it was about 20 minutes until midnight. The place and the people filling it made me think of the crowd I would hang around with at shows in high school, just 6 years later, and I mean that in the best way, seriously. There was an Irish band playing, which made for a pretty good time. At midnight, we were standing in the crowd in front of the band, where there was a small bar right next to us. The bartenders opened a bottle of champagne and were pouring glasses right there on the bar, so without hesitation, I grabbed the first four glasses I saw and handed them to my friends... Pretty sure they weren't intended to be free, but hey, it was new years and I was a mildly intoxicated, and it just seemed like the right thing to do... At this point, its hard to say what was prompting our decision making. We were all a bit intoxicated, but none of us were too far gone by any means.
We left the pub and noticed a pizza place back on the other side of the street that was selling pizza by the slice. While we were huddled in the corner, eating our pizza, a guy turned around from the counter with a huge pizza box, looked at me, and told me I'm really pretty. If only I had been thinking more quickly, I probably could have gotten a free slice of pizza out of him... I probably would've felt bad for taking advantage of the guy though, plus I hadn't paid for anything yet all night.
From the pizza place, we went back to the hot tub bar to use the restrooms, since the pizza place didn't have any restrooms in the little take-out room we were in, and the Irish pub had a sign that said "no public restroom" and the first bar had a line of people waiting for people to leave just to be let through the door. The hot tub bar had the strangest mix of things going on inside. Right in the door, there was a giant tacky chandelier hanging, which was at least 6 feet from top to bottom. Other decor, aside from the giant balloons (one of which I was still carrying around with me) were random clumps of sparkly streamers hanging from the ceiling, which we pulled down to tie around our heads. Along with the hot tub, half of the bar was full of pool tables, most of which were occupied by an assortment of people.
While walking out the bathroom door, the balloon popped, of course drawing a lot of attention. So, I immediately pulled two more balloons off the back of a chair. One was instantly popped by some random guy, and then the other we quickly started sucking helium out of with a group of random guys who were distracted by the popping balloons. After some fun with that, we decided to go back to the pub, where we had left Holly's coworker with a friend she ran into. On our way, I snagged another giant purple balloon.
By this point, I was definitely sobering up a little bit. Well, maybe just enough to be aware that carrying a giant purple balloon made me feel like a 12 year-old... but I didn't care.
The various guys that had been hitting on me all night, along with the alcohol, gave me a little extra boost in confidence and cockiness.
Once we were back inside the pub, we were just standing, watching the band. One of the guys standing next to us started commenting on my balloon, as well as bopping people with it, and then Griffin started talking to the other guy standing near us, Max. Noticing that both of these guys were somewhat attractive, I jumped in and asked how he knew Griffin, hoping that he happened to be from Illinois as well. Turned out that they had been talking while ordering drinks at the bar. After this, or maybe it was before this, I had tied the purple balloon to Max's hood... this only happened with the encouragement of his friend. Some way or another, Max and I ended up talking the rest of the night. He is from the Denver area, but lives and works in LA... Damn LA!! He mentioned that he leaves in a couple days, but he will be back in about a week because his sister's baby is due January 10th, the day before my birthday.
Before leaving, a guy that was totally way too into the band ended up knocking me and a couple of other people over, resulting in beer being spilled all over me, and the guy who knocked us all over was then kicked out of the bar. Mildly embarrassing, to say the least.
Max asked if he could get my number or find me on facebook, so I added him on facebook, seeming to be the safer option of the two. However, while on my way home, I sent Max a facebook message giving him my phone number... thank you, alcohol.
Griffin, Holly, and I hopped on a bus to get to the train station to take us back to their side of town. While on the most packed bus I have ever been on, some guy took Holly's wallet. Somehow she felt it when he took it, and started yelling at him and pulled her wallet out of his back pocket. We quickly got off the bus, while people were starting to yell at him. No telling what happened to him after we left.
I finally got home at 4am, just in time to tell my roommate happy new year, as he was on his way out the door to work.
This morning I got a text from Max, and we made small talk (small talk texting? small text?) for a little bit. Not really sure what to think of this or if we will actually continue talking, but hey, I did say I wanted a distraction from Calvin. Oh, and he mentioned that he still has the purple balloon I had tied to his jacket.

non-verbal>verbal...but too much eye-contact too soon and your chances are gone.

When I moved out to Colorado, one of my doctor friends gave me all of her snowboard and all of her gear with it... among other things. She and her pharmacist husband were preparing for a 2-year move to Uganda, so I reaped the benefits of their downsizing. I had skied for years but had always wanted to learn to snowboard, so when you suddenly come into ownership of at least $600 worth of gear for free, why not give it a shot. I made the switch from ski to board pretty quickly and absolutely love it! 

Last Monday, I made my way up to Keystone to spend my day off work in the mountains. Of course, I tend to get into various conversations with people on the ski-lifts. One conversation somehow turned into a life-analyzing discussion with a woman who was actually quite encouraging to me. Another resulted in someone giving me a swig of whiskey from his flask (hey, why not) And then there was one conversation that I might be wishing hadn't happened. Everyone was talking about traveling for the holidays and where they are from and where they currently live. Coincidentally, three of the guys on the lift were from parts of Illinois, or near Illinois and were familiar with my hometown. One guy mentioned that he lives in Evergreen, this being the town I work in. I of course, being overly chatty, jumped right in to mention that I work there. I don't recall everything that was said, but when I was getting off the ski-lift, the Evergreen guy stopped me to ask my name and then in a tone that instantly made me feel as if I need to move another 1,000 miles away, he said that he will be seeing me around soon... I already told all my coworkers that if some guy comes in looking for me to make their own assessment of him and if they think its appropriate, to tell him I have a boyfriend/fiancee/husband, or that I don't work there anymore. 

I'm really hoping he just doesn't ever show up.

My hours at work were low this week, so I accidentally picked up two shifts on Christmas Eve, resulting in me opening and closing at work, with a 1.75 hour break in the middle. This meant I would be opening with my manager, and closing with Calvin. Sounded good to me... it wasn't.

The first hour of work, my manager wanted to talk to me. It was awful. She pretty much told me that as long as we're at work, Calvin and I need to basically ignore each other because everyone else gets jealous because we are so close. Actually, the conversation wasn't too bad at first. She was pretty understanding about our "friendship" and basically seemed as if she just wanted to make sure I am aware of how other people at work are perceiving things so that I could avoid more people talking or getting uncomfortable. However, by the time Calvin got there, I was pretty tired, understandably, and wasn't in the greatest mood. At this point, I felt horribly uncomfortable around him, so long as our manager was still there. Calvin probably experienced me at my worst that day. I explained pretty quickly why I was in the mood I was in, and apologized numerous times towards the end of the night. He was incredibly understanding, especially when I started venting about how irritated I am by the never-ending drama and gossip about he and I. Nobody there even knows anything beyond the fact that we are good friends.

The best part of the night was when Calvin made a joke that had something to do with me in the bedroom, which somehow everyone at work, including one of our regular customers overheard me get pissy at him over, and him nearly yell that it was just a joke. The realization that everyone could hear us actually took some weight off of the tension of me getting pissed at him over it.

On Christmas day, I went with my roommate to his church. Strangely, numerous people there are from my hometown. It was almost surreal/twilight zone-feeling. For dinner that night, we went to a family's house of a man who just happens to be a videographer/director/producer who has won 11 emmys, among many other awards. We had some great conversations and I'm still hopeful that he will hook me up with a job one of these days. It made for a pretty fun Christmas, even though I didn't have any family to spend it with, which I had been in a Grinch of a mood about all week.

Today at work, it seemed like everyone was breaking out from the cabin fever that developed on Christmas. We were busy.

I'm finding I get more and more weirded out by unnecessary, unexplained, or unexpected eye-contact. Staring for any extended time, unless you are a guy I'm involved with, weirds me out. It seems I notice more and more customers making lingering eye-contact. Worst of all is winking. Who told any man that winking is a good think?!?! Two guys winked at me I was at work today. It really makes me want to ask the next person who winks at me why he just did that. It probably won't go over too well, but neither does winking in the first place. 

To top off the trend of non-verbal communications and eye-contact, as Calvin was leaving work today and was saying goodbye to me he gave me the strangest look that left me feeling very concerned that something was wrong.

Is it a strange thing that I am terrified that he is going to fall for me? 

...I don't want that to happen.

((my apologies for any jumbled non-sense. I am tired.))

Just because its a VIP party doesn't mean it'll be good.

So much happens in a single week. I don't think I ever really realize this until I go to write a new post.
Last Sunday evening, as I was getting ready to go to bed, my roommate knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to go bowling and play laser tag with some of his coworkers... his military coworkers. Something about laser tag with military guys just seems unfair from the start. As soon as I told my roommate that bowling and laser tag sounded fun, he moaned and exclaimed that he was hoping I would give him a good excuse not to go. I usually don't want to do much of anything with my roommate too often, but hey, bowling and laser tag with some military guys sounded like fun, so I convinced him to go. Everyone put away nearly a full pitcher of beer, except my roommate, who had 2 glasses. At the end of the night, my roommate actually admitted to having a good time -- usually everything he does is awful and not fun at all, or he doesn't like the people he is with -- so, getting him to admit that the guys we were with weren't bad and that he enjoyed himself was a rare occurrence. Since that night, I don't know that I've seen my roommate much at all.
I woke up Thursday morning to a text from Calvin that he had sent around 2am when he apparently found one of my missing earrings. I knew they had to be there! I still haven't been given this earring, nor has he found the other.
Thursdays have been deemed "Thrift-store Thursdays". Thrift-stores in Denver are just excellent! The theme for the night was thrift-store formal. Oh, and as hideous as possible, of course! I was looking quite classy in a teal lace dress with some exquisite sequence details around the neck and bust of the dress, paired with a fabulous navy blue, glitter covered cardigan. The best dress of the night, however, looked like someone took a table cloth and sewed it into a moo-moo. It had some very nice hand embroidered parrots accompanied by some flowers on the front of it. All of our outfits were so wonderful that we made a random friend at the bar. His name was Allan and he was quite intoxicated, but he said he just had to know what we were doing. The night left us with some memorable quotes -- from Allan:: "It's not you, it's the dress", "We traded tables. We're doing a bar exchange program", "I'm homeless, by that I mean I'm not"
The next night resulted in making things more complicated with Calvin... I guess. I have to admit, it is very awkward when you're cuddling with someone with whom nothing has been clarified as to exactly what WE are, while the comedian on tv is doing a bit on relationships, just covering all ends of the spectrum. It especially gets awkward when Calvin suddenly squeezes my hang tighter during this. We'll venture down that road when its necessary. It is almost frightening to me how comfortable I am with him though. But, he will be moving soon, so how far can this really go, right? Lets not forget that he models and is moving to LA to do more of that. As I am most definitely not on par with models, I'm not expecting anything lasting.
Last night was a friend's birthday, so after closing at work, I went downtown to meet up with everyone at a club called "Jet". Its a fairly upscale club, and by that I mean you won't be let in if you don't meet the standards of dress. Along with being semi-upscale, the drinks were pricey. Fortunately, one of my friends was in an auction with one of the bartenders, so at least a few of us were getting drinks for half-price. Immediately after getting there we noticed that on the downstairs floor there was a VIP party. Of course, one of my friends decided his goal for the night was to get let in. At the top of the stairs was a bouncer with a guest-list who exclaimed that for $30 he would consider letting us in. After a few shots of patron (provided by a friend of a friend's friend... yeah...) the guy determined to get into the VIP party told one of the bouncers that he plays for the Denver Broncos and was pissed that they weren't letting us in -- his argument was much more hostile than that -- Apparently being 6'6" and rather built makes you a convincing/intimidating football player because it got us in. The night was actually pretty great until we got into the VIP party. It got pretty sketchy pretty quickly. It looked as if the theme for the party was trashy santa. Most of the girls were wearing santa themed lingerer. Someone claimed it was a swingers' party... Nothing really made it clear whether this was true or not though. It was around this point that a couple of the guys turned pretty douchey and I quickly... VERY QUICKLY decided I needed to leave. After about a half hour I was finally able to get someone to give me a ride. Lets just say it turned out to be a pretty terrible end to the night, and I'm going to leave it at that.

Complicated Situations and missing earrings.

I'm a pro at getting into complicated situations. For some reason, the other day a lot of old friends were randomly getting in touch with me and playing catch up. All is well with that of course, until one of these friends happens to be one that I have a history with. Catching up with him for more than a few hours was great, actually. Well, it was great until he started talking about how he needs to move out here so he doesn't have to be trying to figure out how to afford visiting. We went an entire year without talking until right before I was moving out here, when he told me he wanted to see me before I left. I never saw him though. Since playing catch up the other day, we've talked a little bit pretty casually. I'm just hoping the idea of moving out here was just a passing thought he only entertained that one time.
Since the night I stayed with Calvin, things have definitely been a little different between us, understandably. He has always confided in me about a lot and had already told me many personal things that he says he has only ever told  2 other people. Now, in the past week, he just keeps opening up more with me and is being sweeter than ever. Of course this is all great, however, while we were talking on facebook chat the other night, I happened to glance at the constant updating news feed bar and noticed something Calvin posted on one of his friend's walls. He mentioned that he is probably moving to LA (which I knew was a possibility) but the way he said it, along with a couple other things made me feel like it is pretty likely that he IS moving in January. After a day or two, I finally straight up asked him what the likelihood was that he will be moving, and I explained that I saw his fb comment. He still won't tell me that he IS. He just keeps saying "probably", "nothing is set yet", or "that has been the plan". I feel pretty certain that he is moving though. He will be out there the first week of January for some acting/modeling gigs, and then I guess we'll just see what happens after that. He has a great opportunity, so I am going to encourage him to go for it, however, I honestly don't want him to leave. He seems pretty torn about everything too. Going to LA has been a possible plan since before he even met me. His other option that he had been considering was staying here and going back to school to finish his psychology degree. I don't want to let him change his mind about LA all because of me, but I know the conversation is going to come up.
I know in my last post I said that Calvin and I are just really close friends. We aren't dealing with any titles and are just taking things for what they are. We are young and he is leaving, so there is no sense in trying to figure out what is going on or what we want. We're just enjoying what time we have while we're still together and having fun. So, yeah, its complicated, and for some reason, that's fine with me.
Nobody at work knows anything about us. If anyone did, that would just be terrible. However, everyone sees the way we are when we work together, and therefor, I'm pretty sure everyone has been making assumptions about us ever since 1 week after I got here. The other day, Calvin was approached by our manager. Supposedly some of our coworkers don't like working with the two of us together because we might happen to be just a bit overly flirty/playful/just having fun. The morning before the night I stayed with him, we may have made a couple of our coworkers irritated and uncomfortable because at more than one time we were just standing there hugging. It really is all dumb though. Everyone at least knows that we are close and see each other outside of work, but since when does anyone care about two people hugging?!?!
Oh, and about the missing earrings. I realized the day after I was at Calvin's house that I wasn't wearing any earrings. They aren't anywhere around my place or my car. I am certain I was wearing them because I specifically remember someone complimenting me on them. Calvin says he can't find them anywhere, but they have to be at his house. I'm starting to wonder if he is one of those cleptos that takes girls' earrings or something... that doesn't really seem to fit his personality. The only other possibility is that my cat took off with them, which is a likely possibility. I'm still convinced they are at his house though.